Describe the facts of the situation — just what happened, no interpretation. “When you came home late last night without calling…”

Express how you feel with “I” statements. Don’t assume they already know. “…I felt worried and a little angry.”

Ask for what you want, or say no, clearly. Don’t make them guess. “I’d really like you to call me next time you’re going to be late.”

Name the upside of getting what you’re asking for, ahead of time. “Then I’d be much less stressed and we could have a peaceful evening.”

Keep your focus on your goal. Don’t get pulled off track — calmly repeat your request like a broken record.

Use a steady tone and posture, and make eye contact. No whispering, stammering, or staring at the floor.

Be willing to give to get. Offer alternatives, reduce the ask, or solve the problem another way.